i finally did it. thought about it for most of the last two years. now i've finally got enough courage to actually do it. of course, being thousands of miles away does help. i know you probably wont ever read this but i just want to vent off my feelings now:

(1) i know you think i'm a total b***h right now, the way i'm treating you. but i honestly think that it's the right thing to do for both of us. or is that just me trying to excuse my behavior? i hope you'll get what i mean in the future.

(2)i did love you once. i did.i gave you all the love i could give. but i changed. you cant blame me for changing. it's my right.you cant make me feel guilty just so you can get your own way. i want to be happy. please let me be.

(3)stop trying. it wont work.

try to accept the fact that this is final. i've finally crossed the line where i've been stuck at for such a long time, and i'm finally on the other side. i was always standing on that line, longing to go to the other side.don't try to pull me back.dont. respect my decision. let me think about myself for once, instead of doing things just so people wont think bad about me. i've cared too much about what people think.now it's my chance to do what i want to do.