1. the weekend: the spontaneous plans with housemates or FLI buddies.
2. the 'study session' with Amy and Moses
3. sitting on the curb with a melting cookie in your hands
4. the one day reprieve with Freeze; which usually involves grocery shopping and harmless hooligan-ing.
   
5. my doughnut and tea breakfast in the before music lecture.
6. windy days.
   

okay. something happened. its 2.17am. had to go to the toilet, due to nature's call. THEN. the toilet chose tonight to act up, ie it wouldn't flush. to be concise, it was regurgitating. so what did i do, you ask? well, what the hell could i do? i had to empty it. personally. no details but it involved gloves, a 'cup' and a garbage bag. i'll leave the rest to your imagination. :P but on a lighter note, i had something to laugh about with nana.hahahahahaha. i'm damn proud of myself, but fricking pissed at the toilet. couldn't it act up when i was doing no 1 instead??!!

freeze@beetoo

when i'm swamped with work to do, its easy to forget to stop smiling. the little things that make me smile again:
(1) feeding the squirrels on the quad. i just throw bits of cookies to squirrels. they go up to you if you make small clucking sounds.
(2)walking to 'insomniac cookies' late at night, and buying cookies and brownies for late night studying. the goodness of these definitely bring a smile to my face.
(3)friends who i can talk to and joke with, nana,james,amy,anna,yelena...
(4)talking about my day with nana and vice versa.
(5) talking with my parents and sister on the phone for a few minutes.

so even though it's stressful sometimes and there are moments when i wonder why the heck am i here, just thinking of the small stuff can make me smile. now, if i can do that while writing a paper due tomorrow. eek!

freeze@beetoo

yeah well. nothing much in terms of daily stuff. i still get annoyed at nasal american girls trying to speak english. pffftttt.

sometimes i wonder if i might break out into my anti-Bush personality and do a crazed protest on the Quad. would be hilarious if i did. noone will pay attention to the politically ignorant Asian student, you see.

wakakkakakakaakaa. yes im rambling. just for the sake of blogging. pfffttt.

im exhausted! need sleep! hey scholars in the US, please try to keep in contact..thanks

kambo!!!! mr E!!!! u should be friggin proud o me!!!


I FIXED MY ERRONEOUS VAIO!

remember the 4 sec thing, and magic finger of capt E? well yeah, it happened again here and it wouldn't fix itself.

it took me 3 days to contact the vaio dealer. by then i was pissed. because i had to make a website, learn C and write essays. the dead end was to send it back to Brunei, with warranty and all. which means i need to get one here in the meantime because i can't wait that long. months. who knows.

tonight, by a miracle, i got to contact Joe. initial diagnosis, send it back to Brunei. after some more discussion, he told me to unscrew some screws and open up my laptop. i located the RAM. frickin took em out. cleaned them, dusted, blowed on them. stuck em back in. prayed. and turned the VAIO back on.


it turned on.


i was yelling by then. out of happiness and relief.


i am definitely a nerd. and engineer. be proud, o great people of OSM. beewon is an engineer.

i'm friggin' learning C.

at my own time.
without a textbook.
using online resources like Wikipedia.
getting instructions and lessons from a comp sci junior.

how incredible is that.

arrggghhh!!!

i hate exams, especially when they're on top of each other!

why oh why did i pick challenging classes that i know nothing about? sighhh

i am currently in a fix. so i won't be online or updating as often. still alive and kicking. just some technical problems.

dumdidumdidum.

last night, i tried something for the first time here ever. i went on the bus, to a grocery store, meijer, that's half an hour away by bus. i went at 10pm! haha. bus left at 10, got there at 10.30, left at 11.30 and arrived on campus at 12. then a 10 minute walk to the house.

why did i do this, you ask? i was accompanying my friend, who went there to buy fish for his new aquarium. he already had his tank all set up, and just needed to buy fish. well, we had fun puzzling over which fish to buy, and turned out that he hadn't bought the oxygen pump yet. he thought that the air filter was the same like an oxygen pump. lol. finally picked the fish after half an hour of peering in tanks, and while i was holding it in the clear bag, i dropped it! whoops!! sorry james, didn't mean to do that. :p completely unintentional. then, after we got to campus already, helped him figure out on how to set up the stuff.

got home around 1.30. i think, or 2am. i had class at 10 am, but had to wake up at 7am cos i had some stuff to do in the morning. so im a bit sleep deprived today, but i had a fun time alst night. been stressing too much over my studies lately, and a night off felt awesome.

freeze@beetoo

i forgot to mention the zingiest thing of all. exams are commonplace. we've been here for three four weeks and we've got midterms already. that's how it goes when you use the semester system. exam assignments essays and more projects. its like that, yall. will need to get used to the fact that slacking is not an option. ^^

beewon!

first of all, thanks nana. lending your shoulder to me.i know i soaked it. thanks. it means a lot to me.

secondly, to the juniors and OSM, i agree with nana. any questions, we will try to answer them as best as we can. we're here to support u, cause you will be our juniors. we can help you with questions about schools in the US. i know how crazy US colleges seem, i remember applying and looking at that course list and going oh 's***'. try to contact us. we dont bite. :)

now an update on my week. i was so busy,was practically like a chicken running around without a head. i tried pledging for a sorority, for two weeks, i stuck with it. being busy, dedicating way too much time to it than i should have. but i had to make a decision.was beginning to neglect my studies. i had to make a decision. on one hand, i didnt want to be a failure, cause i didnt go through with the pledging, but then again, studies VS sorority, studies win hands down. i didnt bust my ass off for the last two years just to join a sorority. i really want to join though. but i had to decide. again, nana thanks. you were there when i needed a friend the most.hugs

we're trying to get an apartment for next year. leasing starts this october. yay!

studies wise, im doing ok. got the essays and quizzes back. exams this week. eek.

starting to think about home again. must be the fasting thing. here, we sahur and sungkai alone. only two of us. but then our bond is getting stronger. i miss my mom, my dad, and my sister. i regret taking for granted the times we spent together as a family. i miss my cats. i do enjoy my time here. im beginning to consider it home. used to it already. but cant wait to go home next year though.

and to that one person who i hope reads this, im still waiting for you. still. i tried not to, but i cant. i know you're over it already and that hurts. i do hope you're happy now, with your loved one. she's lucky to have you. i'm still praying that things will work out between us.

to everyone, im sorry if this post is sappy. i need to get things off my chest or else i'll explode.
nana will kill me when she reads this post. its the most emo yet!! lol

-freeze@beetoo

we're currently at a cafe near our house. i love the atmosphere here. mismatched splashes of colours. my style.

its 9.41pm and i haven't got much of my homework done, thanks to the idiot box. well, we did get a lot done during the day though. we've found a nifty prospective apartment for next year and contacted the company. its yet to be confirmed but at least we've got something to look forward to.

i finally got my bum to an advisor's office and discussed my curriculum. i'm finally able to see what i'm going to do for the next three semesters. and i've got a damn good plan on ace-ing as an EE. most likely taking up a minor too. a double major is out of the question since it means i need an extra year to graduate. i'd love to but o well. =) and. i'm learning C on my own. probably HTML and CSS too on the way. with luck C++. i just need to know C by the end of winter break so i'm good to go for engineering classes next semester.i know i'm already getting a lot on my plate. its going to be fun.

if any prospective mindef scholars read our blog, read it regularly. ask questions, comment, say something. we're here to help. we have a lot of good info. for example, your A levels are a humungous benefit. i cleared off 17 or 19 hours of credit. i'm technically a junior with all my chemistry physics and math qualifications. so yes, do your best at getting the grades for A levels. they're awesome, them GCEs. another thing is, don't expect much guidelines in your curriculum here; you set your own pathway. sure there are a few rules but overall, you make your own degree. i'm learning computer languages on my own and i'm going to get job experience on my own. you need to have your own incentive. with luck i want to have worked with IBM or Microsoft or nvidia or etc etc the likes. engineering rocks, here. the company comes to you. of course, you still need to put in a lot of effort. there are a lot of other students out here competing neck to neck. my resume still looks like crap compared to others who have job experiences at well known companies. plus the fact that i'm an international student doesn't make things any easier. get a work visa. you will need it.

it is a big difference from home. but it is a good one. the unfamiliarity is the best part.


again. if the OSM people could tell the kids to read up here, its for their own good. we'd love to have them at UIUC and build up a Bruneian community here.

ahh. chocolate milk in summer night. i am content.

o dear o dear o dear

i knew there had to be a reason why i couldn't sleep tonight, no matter how much i want to.

essay. sigh. at least i wrote something.

sleep wouldn't overcome me.

i lent my shoulder tonight. i lent my company. i lent my attention. as always, i'm here. don't worry about it. i am here.

again. sleep wouldn't overcome.

she's planning her wedding. i'm going to be the bridesmaid. whenever that is. but yes. she is going to get married. i am astounded at how well i am taking it.

again. sleep wouldn't overcome.

i don't know what's with me and sad stories, sad songs. i am constantly feeling sad.

sleep. you are a ***** tonight for avoiding me. i can't live on thoughts alone. that's how i went inwards. don't let me go there again.

i will try to sleep.




sigh.

my saturday evening was spent 'Back to School'. its a hiphop jam at the quad. was freezing cold, but that's what dancing is for. to keep you warm. it was really cool. you got the DJ, the music, the skateboarders in the background, the breakdancers in the background. everything is in the background. do your thing.

and wow. i love it.

underground. gangsta. its a culture instead of a lifestyle now. get rid of all the dangerous elements and you've got hip hop and chillin time.

no i'm not turning black or joining any gangs.

i happen to have found something that i really like.

i'm nervous.








very pumped and freaked.






i'm mucho nervous.

tomorrow's the first day of ramadhan. we're still going to fast here, even though maghrib is around 7pm here. tomorrow is my first exam for one of my classes, and its the first day of fasting too.sigh.oh well. its getting really cold here. really cold winds. sorry for slacking in replying to emails or boring posts on the blog, but i've been really busy these past weeks. til next time when i have more free time. PS: congratulations to all my friends who got the MOE scholarships!!

i'm tiiiiyuuuuurrrrreeedddddd. =="

i shouldn't bring my books out every day. they're not making me any taller. plus i walked. ick.

currently, i'm resting on a bench in the cooling weather. thank goodness. it has been pretty hot today. and i've been spending most of my time outside, in the shade, but still in the heat. doing work. sorta. hahahahahahahahaha. yes, i'm sorta doing work now too.

just found out midterms are this week. i have two exams and a quiz already. woohoo. who knows what else tomorrow might bring.


ahhh highs and lows of beewon.

holy cow!!!!! a thousand smooches already! didn't know we were that kissable. wakakakakkakakakaa.


ahhhhh good weekend good weekend. got some work done. got some socializing done. got some fun done. didn't get any cleaning done though. haiya.


random post: i need to drink more water. i can't avoid the tap forever. sigh.

milestone reached!! we've had over a thousand visitors to our blog!! thanks for reading our ramblings people!! :p

today was fun. great. a ton of laughs. we went walking around the campus, eating first then checking out clothing shops because i'm looking for a white tee to wear. all the shops are on campus. anyway, it was drizzling, but it was great because we got bonding time. we could talk in malay as much as we wanted to. shared what happened during the week, or in my case, last night(something happened, but wont go on this blog). i'm so thankful that i'm with nana here. a great friend. and we click so there's no friction. maybe that's because we have some things we do as a team, but some stuff we do on our own, with other friends. but we still turn to each other though in terms of need

;) btw, beewon, its not your loss if he's an idiot, its his. hehe. u know what i mean. tonight is movie night. gonna pop in a dvd in the TV downstairs, pop some popcorn and finally invite friends over. nice. more to come.

P.S: nana, sorry i pulled you out of your bed today, but there was nothing else i could do to get you off your bed.haha

waheyyy the bananas went shopping today ^^ we found a great place which has tomyum soup and asian food. i was salivating at the door. mmmmmmmmm.... yes i miss all the santan and lemak. i can eat kway teow!!!!!!!!

then we went to a boutique to get something freeze was looking for. i got cajoled to buy something i have no idea when i would wear it. its nice. pretty. i look like a girl for once. but. i might probably just wear it on my birthday. wakakkaakakakaka. we had fun tho. bonding mehhhhh. =)






sometimes i wonder if i try too hard. i'm losing focus. well not on academics but on life. who am i and what do i want to do. i wonder if i'm trying to enjoy the little things in life too much. or i just have the bad luck to get a numbskull, a person who i used to be. rats. i wonder who i'm trying to convince here. i always get the difficult people. why is that? huh? huh??
do i really have to be that obvious? am i supposed to do all the work? jeez. i'd like to be the girl for once.

okay, here's the deal. i turned in an essay last week, basically about globalization and how it affects myself. i personally thought i wrote a crappy essay, i couldn't think of a way to express myself clearly like i wanted to. when my lecturer gave back the essays, after we had our quiz, i was literally going, oh shit, oh crap. i didnt want to look at it, so i turned it face down. finally looked at it when i was walking out of my class. turns out i got a perfect score!! awesome eh?? i was so HAPPY!!!! i had a HUGE grin on my face for the rest of the day, even until the end of my study session with my friends at 11pm. watched a great movie after that at my friend's dorm room until 3 am, then it was time to go home for me. oh well, i needed a break, been busting my ass off this past few days.

freeze@beetoo

okay..

today, i've only had two hours of sleep, and to top it all off, today's a busy day. i've been running around non-stop, and even now, i'm finishing up my essay that i'm going to turn in tomorrow morning. in about an hour, i have to go out again to a meeting. then i have a quiz at 9.45 pm. i really hope i can sleep early tonight, or at least get 5 hours of sleep but i dont think thats likely

sigh

Freeze@beetoo

damn it all is right.



*growl*

damn it all!! guess how much work i have? an essay due this friday,around 5 online quizzes due in a week, a test today, a quiz tomorrow, homeworks due in a week, and an exam in about two weeks!!!! crap crap crap. its now 3 am. havent gotten any sleep today. doing my essay, my online quizzes, and i havent even studied for my test today!!!! SHIT! sleep not a likely chance. coffee is my best friend now.
-freeze@beetoo

i'm currently in the engineering library, brooding and looking busy in my little cubicle. i'm procrastinating. homework is a bugger.

i just happened to have this panorama sitting in a corner o my desktop. it made me smile. the memories are phenomenal. i nearly died out there (i'm exaggerating but who wouldn't when you've lived in a rainforest for a week).

haha. its funny now. though i'm not sure i'm looking forward to it when i get back. pffft.

well. its not a nicely put together panorama, but the lighting was changing every second since it was sunrise. o hey, i just realized my camera survived the rainforest. had to be wrapped twice in a ziplock though. hahahahaa.

funny.

regarding the concert; well, ya see, i know muscular and strong, but no 6 footers. they're tiny but packed. which is cool since they're not in-yo-face. hahahhaa. and i would've slept on the streets. or not slept at all. but myhousemate is a very nice motherly figure who wouldn't let us do that. so yeah. its all good. lucky i'm not too bummed about it. otherwise i wouldve holed up in my room and watch mcr on youtube going nuts.

anywayyy.

i had another breakdance practise this afternoon. got up just in time for that. its really great. i learn something new everyday and i do believe i'm improving. yay. then Moses (this big black dude who is really flexible and really nice and really good with words) hollers that there's gna be a hip hop thingy at some bar tonight. so okay. why not. i've never seen one much less been to a hip hop scene so this would be the perfect opportunity.

i IMed Matt, president o Floor Lovers Illinois or FLI (that's the name o the group. whee~) for the details. Moses pulled some strings and got me into the bar (he is awesome because its 19 n above and i'm still frickin 18). it was funny. Matt and Colin were with me and we were expecting a breakdance battle ish scene.

wherever did we go wrong.

it was hiphop alright. but the crowd was so wrong. 25 n above half drunkards grinding on the floor. dude! where are the bboys and bgirls????? it was hilarious. we were just standing in a corner, enjoying the music since that was all that we could do. at least the music was good. Moses even gave a shout out to Matt and us. he's great.

and then i just hung out w the boys at their place (their apartment is so neat, i already know where me n freeze should look out for). watched anime. so farney. and i discovered that i can still use BitComet to my heart's content here!!!! *hopping in circles* joy o joy. i'm gna have fun, back to my ripping ways.

oh. the fire alarm went off in the mid of an anime episode we were watching. it was interesting. the beeping or screeching or noise was so loud. and there were flashing lights. false alarm tho. nothing very interesting aside from the firefighters and the lights and the whole neighbourhood (im exaggerating, just the occupants of the building) were out on the street. that was cool. my first fire alarm experience. and like they said, "At least its not winter."

pffffftttt.



today's great. monday's great since its labor day. i'm finally going to be able to catch up on schoolwork. yay.

o my god QAMIIEEEEEE

do not pick up the 'like. like. like.'

please. i will kick yo ass if i hear you speak like, omg, like that way, you know like, always with the like, like you know?


u wanna know how i know? its already obvious in your blog posts. pffffttt.

T_T

the original plan for this weekend was for us to go to chicago on friday night, to watch the my chemical romance and linkin park concert, that was on saturday. but then, we didn't manage to catch a train. our fault, such a stupid mistake to make. then, when we tried to figure out a way to get to chicago before saturday, and the next train was on saturday night. not to be deterred, we turned to buses. SO, we bought tickets for a bus that was going to chicago on friday night at 9pm. THEN, there was the matter of transportation there and where we were gonna live at and stuff. and if we used the bus, we would have arrived at a chicago suburb by midnight. so it wasnt really safe. so after considering this and trying to find a place to crash at in chicago(called up friends living there), we decided not to go. we thought it was too risky. worse of all, i couldnt cancel the bus ticket reservations that i made(stupid f***ing company), so we lost around $40 plus each!! but then, all things considered, even though it was a waste of concert tickets, i think we made a right decision, we didnt want to take the risk. who knows what might have happened right?

freeze@beetoo

today's pretty uneventful. but now it's around 10pm, and we're getting ready to go out, dancing! we're going with our housemates who are older than us. hope it'll be fun. update on this tomorrow

welllll heelllooooooo, orang Brunei!

its nice to hear from our readers; salwa, charlene, bobo, noi! and the funky people. i have a feeling that the anonymus people are pretenders who have swiped their finger on my vaio before. wakakakakaakakaka.

the image, smell and taste of kari ayam just popped into my head.

dammit.



its the weekend. yay. i finally caught up with sleep. its a privilege to be able to wake up whenever your body wants to.

i'm finally on facebook. just search a 'nana gapar'. not of much use to me now though, since most o the people i know are on friendster (which is a waste o time but i still use it anyway).


this is pretty much random. i wish that i have more purpose. or, how do i say it? more o a presence? hmmm. this is difficult to describe. i'll leave it at that.


i'll let freeze explain why we're not in chicago right now. pffftt.


i wish i could do more things.
for example, i wish that the pictures that i take were better (or rather I want a better camera). i want to bgirl awesomely. i want to ace math forever, regardless of all the Ms Tors and Mr Igors that teach me. i want to draw again. i want to be more sympathetic (but this is a lost cause since i'm very much un-emotional).


i think i'll just bum around today. could try and search for $1 soto vendors but i might come home bawling.