I had a dream last night. It stirred up past memories, memories that i have tried to forget ever since. Memories that make me feel sad every time i think of them. I dreamt about a guy i used to know. This guy was the guy that i wanted to end up with, the guy that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I've tried for the last 4 months to forget about him, to forget about everything that we had, everything that we once shared. I've had 4 months to forget about the movie dates, the coffee dates, and the random meetings at random hours. The dream woke up all these dormant memories. and i hate it. I dislike the past. I prefer thinking of the present and the future, instead of thinking back about what has already happened and i can't change. I wish i could travel back in time, and change some decisions i made, decisions that i now regret making.

Basically, in the dream, the guy asked me to go back together with him. He told me that he wanted a relationship with me. An open relationship. The kind that we never had. The kind of relationship that i had hoped and prayed for. and in that dream, i felt happy. deliriously happy. happy that my dreams had finally come true. then i woke up. it sucked realizing that it was only a dream, and that it will never, ever happen. period.

-freeze@beetoo