WE ARE NOT GAY!! what i meant was it was cool! sweet=cool, not sweet=romantic

i apologize on behalf of beetoo for sounding like a ninny. "it was so sweet". honestly. as if we dont sound gay enough. tsk tsk.

the first two weeks of class flew by so quickly. now, i have so many readings to do. readings from just two classes can take me more than a day to do, and i have four classes. pffft. now, any free time that i have between classes is spent on catching up on anything i haven't done. have to continually check on the website to make sure i've done my readings for the next class. its different here. the professor doesnt tell you what to do or to read. its put together with the syllabus given for each class. woe on you if you don't read the syllabus outline. in between managing my time between my classes, i have to juggle cleaning my room, cooking and making friends as well.

my juggling has been ok. so far, so good. nothing has fallen yet. crossing fingers it wont happen. i'm grateful to mindef for preparing us for this early on. if we just went here without anything, don't know what would happen. thanks mindef and OSM!!

okay. what we did tonight! i met up nana after my interview, at the union, then met Amy. turns out it was salsa night at the union!! so Amy dragged me out to the dancefloor to learn how to salsa! it was freaking awesome. first time i've dared to do that! Thanks Amy for pulling me and calling a me a pansy.

after that was DDR at the rec room. we still suck at it. in between playing, we gawked at the guys playing the expert levels. OMG seriously couldn't even see the arrows whiz by. like how do they do it?

Me and nana cycled back home, and it was really sweet. it was really cold, and i could feel my legs go numb even when i was cycling(was wearing shorts, so yea) but seriously, cycling under the stars with a cold wind is a must try experience!!

this is my hanging out place while waiting for my next class. its really peaceful what with the winds blowing lightly on your face. kinda like my sanctuary. its not complete without a textbook(usually heavy), a bottle of water and my omnipresent heavy backpack in which i manage to pack in all my crap

i passed out on the carpeted floor of my room for the past three hours. it was such good sleep. i still have an affinity to floors here just like i do back home, its great. bridging the distance. yep.

part o the reason why i'm so exhausted is because i gave it my all with math. and rhet and music. no easy feat. had an 8am class and the last one was till 5pm. talk about full day. it was great though, don't get me wrong. i accomplished something academically so i feel good about it. you know that feeling. effort pays n stuff.

another reason is that my body aches from all the floor loving on sunday. ahem. breaking. AND also we finally got bicycles and we explored quaint little places.

okay..it's our first weekend of our first week of university life. lets see how interesting it is

friday:

1. had class at 9 am
2. watched a live band perform while waiting for my 1 pm class
3. walked 10 min to my class
4. show over by the time finish class. catch up to the singer and ask for the free album. put on sweet smile. get two cds!
5. make dinner with nana in the pm
6. totally stuffed by 8pm.
7. dragged out by nana to watch breakdancing in the quad(which btw turned out to be cancelled due to rain.pffft)
8. play ddr and race cars with nana in the arcade. P.S: we suck at both!
9. watch another live band which nana loved at once. suck up again to the band to get autograph.
10. home by 12. crash into bed. tiiireed.

saturday:

1. bike auction at 9 am. bought mine for $40. sweet!! good condition.
2. ride bike home. wobbly and shaky cause haven't been on one in ages. miracle arrive home in one piece.
3. doze off in front of TV when should be doing my readings for next class.
4. go grocery shopping with nana. finally found kicap and Chili sauce. thank god!! btw, guess how much a tin of condensed milk cost here? $3!! wtf??
5. go online till sleep. got headache.must rest.
   

Sunday:

1. go with nana to her breakdancing club thingy majiggy. i watch. she try. dancing guys cute. turns out the cutest one looks gay. pfffftt. such a waste.
2. meet jean(korean friend) for lunch. initial awkwardness. haven't seen each other lately cos no class together. go italian cafe for lunch. yummy pizza.
   
3. nana joins us for lunch, being all glowy and gushy from the breakdancing class.
   
4. buy bicycle lock. kana curi karang!!
5. at home, online. as usual. should do readings.
6. feel a bit weak. heat exhaustion? nahh
   
7. listen to slow, sad songs while online. feel sad. missing someone badly.
   
8. read kambomambo's blog. cheer up at the sight of the backside blog. eyes hurt tho. oww.
   
9. dont know what happens next. sleep? or kacau nana?
10. go bike riding for 2 hours.
11. cook dinner.watch lord of the rings. do homework.
    

interesting no?

but seriously though, even though my posts are usually lighthearted, i dont really feel like that sometimes. sometimes i just feel so sad. overwhelmed. i don't want to show it cause i don't want people to say i'm weak. i'm not. there are just moments where all i wanna do is be back at home. maybe then i'd have a chance at it. a fair chance but then, if it's meant to be, it will happen right? takdir. or fate. *praying fervently that it is meant to be*

oh well, i'm just waiting for the skies to clear up. the sun will come out again. oh geez, its so corny. i must stop now.

i saw two bands perform in my campus, to-friggin-day. i'm on overload. i got a Seth Bradley CD for free, courtesy of Freeze. She actually ran after the band (or him should I say) when I told her he was giving out free CDs if you just went up to say hello. What a freak o nature; she got TWO CDs. kiss ass. hahahahahahahhaa.

and then tonight, I saw Parker House & Theory who are from Boston. THEY ARE FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!! I've never heard o them before but I loved their music at once. It was awesome to dance to, it was syok to listen to, and they were amazing live.amazing. live.


you hardly ever get good live bands.


and they were right on campus. XD i'm ecstatic. i got their CDs and their signatures too. wakakakkakakaka. my first time being a groupie-ish freak. it was awesome.


i don't think i can sleep tonight. the endorphins are on a high.

well, i had my political science and economics class. my political science class is introduction to US govt and politics. bloody hell! what did i get myself into? i seem to be the only international in the class. maybe that's because no one else is stupid enough to take a class that they dont know anything about!! even now, reading the papers i'm supposed to read before class starts, i get cross eyed from the text. my classmates are more advantaged than me, considering that they should be familiar with their own government. even my econ class is gonna be a challenge. because of my A level credits, i could skip the freshman class for econ, and join the second year class instead. i was happy about this, till i walked into the class. oh my god. i felt like such a kid, being surrounded by other students looking way older than me. again, i dont know what i got myself into

i've been having doubts whether i can deal with these two subjects, but then again, come to think of it, i wouldn't be here if i didn't dare to try something challenging last year. so im not going to change my classes. i'm gonna try and do a freaking good job at it!

i have to run now to catch a bus to class.running late. need to grab a coffee before class. ciao

i actually have a lot of thoughts i wanted to share with you but i always seem to forget everytime i get to my lappie. let's see if i can still remember.

i think i've already stated this but i still want to keep my accentless, or rather, asian/british accent and i refuse to go "like yeah, like...like....like...". and i refuse to speak with a drawl, unless necessary. americans don't seem to understand you if you don't speak american. not english. american. the arrogant sonofab*tch*s.


i had my first anthropology class today. it was way over my head. i know nothing. that's mostly why i took the class though. the challenge is to actually be knowledgeable in something completely unrelated to me. *yes i'm beginning to be more selfless.* it was interesting. but i do need to stay awake in classes like math. bloody hell. even though i've gained credit for two courses, this course that i'm taking is still A level standard. vectors for god's sake. bleeding two dimensional vectors, with the is and js. ah well. even if i fish in lectures, at least i'll be able to do the homework and assignments with no problem. yeah i'm trying to not be over confident about it. the last time i did that with Biology, i nearly flunked it. then again, i had a flaky teacher who screwed over the school to get more money. oops, wrong story.

anyway, my room is a mess. as usual. but i'm going to clean it up this weekend. i hardly stay at home during the day. i do my homework on campus, i socialize on campus, i chill on campus. i only come home to do chores, to mandi and everything, and to sleep. simple enough. the college life should be the best period of your life. and i'm letting it be.


with luck, i'll be able to learn how to breakdance. i'll learn how to ice skate properly. i'll learn how to invent or just tick with something. so far, i'm really quite alright. i'm not complaining about my little room and the stuffiness of it (its inevitable to sleep in front of the fan you had to buy yourself at night). i'm not really complaining about the food (or lack of it). i'm not complaining about the fifteen minute walk to campus, or the many walks around campus. i'm pretty much content. because i did something great to get here. and i'm enjoying the little perks of independence. i have a good support. i've made a few good friends, the type you just click with within the first few minutes and you trust them and vice versa. i'm enjoying the strangeness of the classes and the intriguing subjects. i'm enjoying watching people pass by every day on campus. you make up little stories in your head, you observe their quirks and sometimes, they notice you noticing them. you get to know the cashier of your favourite cafe and ice cream shop.

its awesome really. i have a more or less secured job in Brunei when i graduate. my family is happy. my friends are moving on as well. i'm learning new stuff. the sweat and blood was worth it. and i know that certain people out there are proud of me. proud of us.





sometimes i still wish i was six years old though. =p




quality over quantity.

weeeheeee!

finally, we had our first day of the semester. i had my language in globalization(LING 111) and rhet 105 today. basically, both deals with language. In rhet 105, i was dreading the thought of writing endless boring essays. turns out, our teacher is a cool graduate student, and the topics this semester mainly deals with rock and roll! sweet! actually looking forward to it. it looks like it's gonna be an interesting class. my first day was totally relaxed, i only had two classes the whole day, LING at 10 am and Rhet at 1pm.

i'm beginning to get life in the US. everything is plus sized! but funny thing is, the clothes sizes keep getting smaller and smaller. imagine a size 00. weird eh? needless to say, i couldn't fit the 00 size. haha. even the coffee cup sizes are huge here. the small cup is equivalent to the large cup size for coffee back home. best thing is, the large size cost only $2! compared to home,that's a sweet deal! i need my coffee fix right in the morning, so that i wont be that much of a zombie.

anyhoo, we met a cool girl here, Amy. she's from southern illinois, and she is hilarious! she dares to do anything. for example, on monday night,we went ice skating! yes, we actually have our own skating rink. again, sweet! nana and Amy were naturals, despite not having any experience ice skating. i, on the otherhand, was holding on to the wall the whole time! oh well, at least i didn't fall on my butt!! that's a good thing.

and that's our school song ^^ well it is the orchestral version, wait till i get my hands on a vid of the pep rally version.

ya know. i'm amazed. we have an average of 30 readers per day. how in the world did we achieve that?????






hey smoochers. why don't ya leave a comment. let's see if we can figure out who you are. ^^



i smooch.

okay, this is the second blog for tonight. just wanna add on what beewon was saying. yea, we haven't eaten meat and chicken in a week. everytime we can smell the delicious aromas wafting from restaurants, we salivate. thought we'd have given in by this time, ie just eat whatever we want to. but we havent. we'd rather be vegetarians for 9 months rather than eat non-halal food, and that's something to be friggin proud of! we'll just pig out on meat and chicken when we're back home.

class registration was hectic, what with most of the interesting classes being full already. i managed to get credits for my A levels though, and i could drop 4 courses. this means im less 14 hours for graduation! weeheee! 106 hours to go for graduation! managed to meet some nice people, most of them internationals as well.

kinda miss home a bit. not to the point where i get teary eyed at the thought of home, but i just miss all the familiar places. but then, everytime i step on campus,all this just fades away.

think you've had enough of my ramblings for tonight. gonna hit the sack soon. but first, i have to bug beewon in her 'yellow room' first. ciao

wheeeoooo



I MISS KARI AYAM AND SATAYYYYYY.


i miss meat. period. there's no bloody zabihah meat or halal food. whatsoever. NADA. ive been a vegetarian this past week, and it seems like it will stay that way for the next 9 months. tidaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk!!!!!


well, unless we zip out to chicago every weekend...


so yeah, the food situation is a bit bleak at the moment. freeze has been moaning and groaning about it. i've kept my claws in her backside to stop her from running to all the american chicken and beef aromas wafting through everytime we go out.


i went to an Women In Engineering camp organized by the women in engineering society in college. pffft. it was entertaining. to say the least. i was pretty reluctant to go at first. a few people know that too. but i suppose i'm glad i did. i got a headstart at getting around the engineering campus, using the engineering library (which is the biggest in the country with tens of thousands of volumes!), making new friends and acquaintances and knowing what to expect.




i have to say, they are very creative. all the projects they gave us were designed to be either intellectual or social. there was a 'weaving' class which had us pairing up to create a weave using each other's help and also utilizing the learning concept. there were sessions of making roses from duct tape and also making friendship bracelets which gave us all really great opportunities to just talk to each other and bond, bebeh. i was impressed with the depth of the concepts used and all the thought that went into it. they really made an effort to give us the opportunities to know each other and know what to expect. i was really impressed by that. other than that, i was practically zombie-ing through the whole camp. made a few real worthy friends, got to know lots of people.


they had a challenge course which was supposedly challenging. supposedly. i was reminded so much of a fluffy bunny version of OBBD. honestly. it was a very very mild touch of the survival and reflection course, but entertaining nonetheless. yeah. i have to admit, obbd was real good for me. i went through hell n back and i'm still going to every year. lol. anyway, it was light hearted fun. it did take my mind of missing home though. yeah, i miss the familiarity.


i suppose one can never be too confident about adjusting to a different life. i was over estimating myself. i had really it bad for one night. i just hope that that's it. it wasn't culture shock. no sir, it wasn't. just another bout of depression. eh, mental retardation. eh eh, homesickness.

it was a bit too much at one point. i don't really like my room. i'm hoping to find an apartment soon so that we can move out from here real soon. i just have a bad vibe about it, and i'm uncomfortable. now, there's no way i should be uncomfortable in my own space now, should i? so yeah, just hunting around now. screw the contract. i'll pay them money to move out. pfffftt.

i think the quality over quantity mentality is really cementing well.



plus. i've gotten over the getting-to-know-you phase. i do not like the "o my gosh, like did you see that? that was like, so cool. like, it's hot right?" bloody buggering hell. american english is really annoying. i'm still sticking to the british way of speaking, thank yoo. i'll have a clipped accent and have tea n scones to prove it. pfffftt. honestly, they need to re-learn the english language. oh, and by the way, quite a number of people have said that my english is good. yeh yehhh =) kambang.


oh. kids here my age, do not age their age. we are, definitely, more mature and responsible than them. this will pose problems in making friends with the caucasian/african american teenage population. whyyyy do we have to look like kids who have adult minds. it's just so twisted. this is one of the times that i wish i was in UK. pfffft. the height difference here isn't so bad. me n freeze are quite okay. good thing we're not the petite asians. otherwise we'd be really craning our necks. no fun at all, indeed.


yeah. my observations and my complaints and my comments. it has been exactly a week since we arrived. we are well and alive, if not komplen komplen saja. sorry i don't have pictures. i forgot to bring my camera to camp. i'll have really good pictures soon though. there are big events coming up. so yeah, do keep posted about that.


strawberrypants, signing out.

i finally did it. thought about it for most of the last two years. now i've finally got enough courage to actually do it. of course, being thousands of miles away does help. i know you probably wont ever read this but i just want to vent off my feelings now:

(1) i know you think i'm a total b***h right now, the way i'm treating you. but i honestly think that it's the right thing to do for both of us. or is that just me trying to excuse my behavior? i hope you'll get what i mean in the future.

(2)i did love you once. i did.i gave you all the love i could give. but i changed. you cant blame me for changing. it's my right.you cant make me feel guilty just so you can get your own way. i want to be happy. please let me be.

(3)stop trying. it wont work.

try to accept the fact that this is final. i've finally crossed the line where i've been stuck at for such a long time, and i'm finally on the other side. i was always standing on that line, longing to go to the other side.don't try to pull me back.dont. respect my decision. let me think about myself for once, instead of doing things just so people wont think bad about me. i've cared too much about what people think.now it's my chance to do what i want to do.

it's happened!! we finally moved into our new home, ie our rooms. paid over the cash. $900 gone. my room size is okay, i think it's gonna be enough for all my junk. but it's just so dirty!! looks like no one has lived there in years.okay, maybe that's stretching it a bit, but it is dirty. but i'm just happy that i don't have to live out of my suitcase. i can finally unpack!

yelena( our house manager) was nice enough to bring us shopping(again!) for stuff we needed, like pillows, bed sheets, etc etc. this time we went to walmart. we need cheap but good quality stuff now. cotton is good enough. silk will have to wait. an hour later, our( me and nana) trolleys were practically overflowing. at the checkout counter, i was crossing my fingers that i had enough cash to pay for it( inda cali tu if inda cukup). luckily, it was just enough. we finally have our cutlery and groceries(we cant use the house cutlery cause of religious reasons). our first cooked meal was indomee(surprise surprise). for you guys who are going, duuuiiii indomee, give us a break.hehe. we were really exhausted from carrying our HUGE suitcases into our rooms(which are on the first floor btw, and no there's no lift). thank god we have each other. kalau sorang, inda dapat naik tu luggage ah.

im not going to post pictures of my room online till im done with it, ie clean it and decorate it. so just keep checking on the blog if you wanna see the pics(highly unlikely plg you wanna see it). till then, adios. P.S: to our juniors who might come to illinois(UIUC) give us a shout. we might be able to help you out in terms of picking places to live in.

beetoo here. it's now our third day in illinois, and we've managed to settle ourselves surprisingly quickly. we're now living in a semi-comfy room on campus, and we're just waiting to move into our real rooms. pffftt. feel like a nomad. been living out of my suitcase for the last few days. hopefully my body clock will adjust in a few days. been practically sleepless these past few nights, thus annoying beewon who's been sleeping like a baby.

we have a checklist of things to do here each day. today's agenda was shopping!! the only mall near our campus is marketplace, and it's good enough with shops like abercrombie & fitch, gap and not least, my MOST favorite shop, victoria's secret! (kidding!). contrary to what our officers will think, we did not spend unnecessarily( adalah sikit buy some silly stuff). we had to buy clothes and shoes suitable for school, for the very reason that we couldn't fit our wardrobe in our already bulging luggages when we moved to the US(excess gila udah!). we actually found some great bargains, because it's back to school sale! seriously, if only the sales back in Brunei were like this!

we managed to find a restaurant that serves rice!! it's seriously hard to find one that doesn't serve pork as well. it was heaven! it's the first time we managed to get real food in the last two days, unless you count microwaved mac & cheese as a real dinner. we can't get meat or chicken as yet, but we're crossing our fingers. seafood, seafood lah. antam saja.

i'm feeling sleepy now, and it's still 5.11 pm here! beewon won't let me sleep, giving the excuse "krg nda lagi betidur malam!". yawn. the bed's calling to me. just so i wont sleep, let me tell you the most doubtful things we each bought today:

myself:
pink furry mitts! (hey, it's for winter, and it was on sale! you cant beat $4.99 for mitts and a long scarf! total bargain)

beewon:
long blue socks( she calls them her blue alien socks, and it seriously does look out of this world)

here's where the post ends.(wake up, wake up).it's time for us to forage for more food. ciao. more later

this will be the first post from the horrible twins.



this is our second day in urbana champaign and it has been pretty amusing for me, uncomfortably shocking ehhh no sadang for freeze. we came without any money from the embassy or osm, and we were supposed to get a phone line and bank account pronto. almost kapih and slept on the streets lah. but we managed. thanks to our own foresight to bring cash and credit card, we managed. we're moving here and there, jumping hotels and riding in cabs, eating at McD's and enjoying the weather. its still summer here, so our brunei clothes are more than sufficient.



hints to oncoming scholars: bring lots and lots of cash and a credit card. we paid our $250 each for a contract phone line. we paid about 10 bucks for every cab ride. we paid about $5 to $10 to open up a savings account. we needed a credit card to hold our room rservations. we needed a credit card to check in our excess baggage. hah. basically u need to be rich to even just move in.



hmmmm will post more later. B2 is breathing down my neck. pfffffftttt.